omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
