after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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