What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
