She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
