Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
