Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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