your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
