She's JV to your varsity
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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