He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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