i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
