Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I think your dad took our porno
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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