she was so not down for the gang bang
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
