there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
