It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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