dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
