why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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