Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
