Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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