You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
