Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
is it fun? or sober?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
