her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
