tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
