chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
