My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
