Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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