I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize