True but thats because hes a fetus.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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