you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
