5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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