Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
