So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
