Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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