He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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