He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
