i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
