im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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