Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
