I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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