I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
two words: eviction party
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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