sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
