how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it wasn't lemon gatorade
honey bunches of taint.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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