a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
