I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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