Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
