come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
