she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
