thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just blew my weed a kiss
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
