All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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