Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
