so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
