So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
